Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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