I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my sisters under your porch take her home
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
