today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
