Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
