Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
