just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
