she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
