I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
