Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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