do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
