I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
