Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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