white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
