I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
