i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
