What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
