when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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