i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
