Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
