remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How's work?
Spinning.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
