Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
