When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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