went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize