Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
