Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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