There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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