I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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