I'm eating all of the evidence.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
