He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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