Someone shit on the floor
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
