I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
