That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
