R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
