Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
