In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
