you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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