So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
