I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
