why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
