does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
