Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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