I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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