For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
