Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
