if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
