so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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