butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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