Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
