ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
