let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize