i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize