im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
