you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
