i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize