Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
