yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I love you. Go after that dick
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
