He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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