Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
