Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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