i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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