I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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