worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
