My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
