upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
