Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
do herpes really smell.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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