i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
