How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
