It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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