It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Watching her eat just hurts me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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