drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
