Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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