Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
