Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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