I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
