Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
