thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize