i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize